Excellent two-hour and twenty minute audio set from Deepak Chopra with timeless wisdom on the path to love. This audio set is money better spent than psychotherapy and cosmetic surgery combined. Mr. Chopra, the master of Eastern philosophy and Western pragmatism, introduces delicious insights into the seven stages of love: attraction, infatuation, courtship, intimacy, surrender, passion and ecstasy. This involves an examination of relationship and sacred marriage as well.
Three qualities of being attractive are 1) seeing yourself as loveable; 2) seeing yourself as who you are; and 3) self-acceptance and self-esteem. Feeling undesirable is discomfort with one’s own ambiguities. Once you accept your ambiguities, you can surrender to loving and being loved.
Love is not the same as need.
Sex is not equal to love. Desire is not equal to love. Male biology is polygamous and female biology is monogamous by design. Commitment to one partner during childrearing affects survival of the species and is often conflicted between men and women.
The pursuit of orgasm in our society is often met with the passion of a religious zealot. Sex is often the release of anxiety and aggressive anger instead of the gateway to ecstasy and union. Those who have trouble attaining orgasm are often paralyzed by fear. It’s hard to release when you’re terrified of surrender, of letting go of the ego and identity. In relationship, when doubts and fears arise we label them as “incompatibilities” instead of dealing with the underlying fear.
Dealing with the fear takes the pressure off the relationship or your partner being perfect all the time and having to perform or fill your needs. Often we have been raised to believe pleasure must be controlled, or it is sinful. In this case guilt and shame are our constant companions and are blocks to true intimacy. Sex and relationship can become a power struggle instead of passionate surrender. After all who wants to surrender power to another? Without passionate surrender though there is no union. The goal love is joyfulness, ecstasy, freedom and spontaneity.